VisandElu

The sun rises on that same sort of day, A day no one wants to get up. It's too much energy to brush my hair, but I do it anyways. There's no reason to eat, or to go to school, yet off I go through hours of boredom. They hate I don't work, or pay them attention, but they can't speak, I earn my marks. And school eventually ends, other stuff starts, I go off doing what they please, being who they see. Temptations call but I am unable to even step outside, Unable to the least thing just because. And I wonder why we do this, Why each day we put one foot before the other, Why we drag each breath from our lungs, and play the politics,

But children? ...real lives... I cannot, I should not. I can't put a child through that. I don't want to turn out like her, I don't want to ever get so mad, to make others tiptoe around everyday. I don't want to do those things, I don't want to injure a spirit that much, That it would resort to those things. Do you see why I can't ever be a mother?

Draw. Unable to withhold. Paint. Why hold back? Create. An inspiration of my own.             but I'll never be good enough A ball in the trash, A journal now out. a few words on a line, not creative enough to make, follow the lines, a verse or two.              but am I to write? . . . A ball in the trash, another mark on the wall, emotions burst inside What is this?                 Is this life?

No words to offer one who could not talk in the end, Misunderstood but unable to convey, Truth rewritten a thousand times, How many times deceived and broken, How many joys and fortunes borne to you, A story never to be half known, But today I mourn for you, if only one let it be true.

It stays with me all the time. Hiding under my thin sleeve, Burrowed deep into my heart. Thoughts among millions in my mind, Sear a path through all the rest. A brick heavy on my shoulders, A foot stomping in the back, Temptingly easy to push out, But I know it would erupt. No, no one can share it, It's mine. My own little secret.